


Villains Don't Get Happy Endings Regina

by psychshuleslover2000



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-15
Updated: 2016-05-15
Packaged: 2018-06-08 13:54:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 14,971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6857686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/psychshuleslover2000/pseuds/psychshuleslover2000
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>These are Regina based one shots from random points throughout OUAT. Will be a one-shot series. Enjoy and please read and REVIEW. Rated T because Regina likes to curse in chapter 3:)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A/N Been wanting to write a OUAT FanFic for a while now. Especially from Regina's POV because she is probably my fav. She just wants to be happy... My first OUAT fic. Review please and thank you!

Regina walked slowly from Granny's diner towards her mansion. She didn't even want the damn thing anymore. Why would she want a big house or land or power of it didn't make her happy. Of course Emma saved Robin Hood's wife of all people. That family ruined everything for her. Everything. First Snow White got Daniel killed, then the savior comes back and starts to steal Henry, the only thing she truly loves, away from her and now this.

She thought back to what Rumplestiltskin had said-what had been haunting her for a year really, now that they had their memories back. Villains don't get happy endings. After everything she did, after how she changed, was she still a villain? Didn't she deserve her happy ending? She wasn't ways bad, yet Daniel was still taken from her. Why did she deserve that!? She was still innocent back then. Maybe it was just this fate Rumple had been talking about. Destiny. She was destined to become the evil queen and she was a villain from the start. It sounded like a load of crap to her. She was good now, she was trying! Why wasn't that enough? Henry said she was a hero, so why didn't she feel like it? All she wanted was her happy ending. True love, like Snow and Charming. She wondered what the use of trying to be good was anymore, if she was always destined to be the villain?

Now that she was away from everyone, alone, she allowed herself to break down. Tears streamed down her face and her quiet crying turned to sobs. She remembered just why she wanted to take her heart out the year before when she didn't have Henry. Why she wanted to put herself under a sleeping curse. The pain then was unbearable, and now it was almost as bad. But this time she was able to console herself with the fact that at least she still had Henry, even if her true love had once again been taken. Her happy ending ripped from her grasp right when it was in arms reach. Although she wouldn't dare use a sleeping curse now, Regina barely refrained from ripping her heart out to try and numb the pain.

It wasn't fair. But maybe she deserved this. Maybe this was retribution for all the people she killed and all the lives she ruined. Maybe this fate thing wasn't a load of crap. Maybe she was just destined to be alone forever. The evil queen. A villain. And maybe villains really could never live happily ever after.


	2. Maybe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N I have found I really like writing good, heartbroken Regina. Poor Regina... :( Anyway, please Read and Review!

"I've seen magic like this before," Elsa said. "Only and act of true love can undo the magic."

"True love's kiss," Mary Margaret said as those same words echoed through Regina's mind. Her breath caught in her throat and she turned away as Robin leaned down to kiss Marian.

She felt the tears pull at her eyes, but she wouldn't cry. Not here, in front of everyone. She couldn't show any weakness. She couldn't.

"It didn't work!" Robin said, and Regina was able to pull herself together and turn back around and try and help. She was barely aware the whole rest of the conversation, paying only enough attention to give some input on the situation, but otherwise she stayed quiet.

She got out of there as fast as she could, as soon as she wasn't needed. Maybe Villains didn't get happy endings, but maybe there was a way to change that. Henry's book is what made her a villain, and all books have author. So if they found the author, maybe she could get her happy ending! Her one problem was getting Henry to help her.

She walked into Granny's, comic books in her hand, ready to execute her plan. She didn't expect just telling Henry what she wanted, but it worked.

"This is the best idea you have ever had!" Henry said excitedly.

"It can be just like you and Emma's operation viper or whatever," Regina said.

"It was operation Cobra, but yeah," Henry said.

"I have a perfect name for this one. Operation Mongoose," Regina said.

Henry smiled, "Yeah, that's a great name."

And all at once Regina's pain started to fade, and she was filled with hope at the idea of her happy ending. And maybe even more happy that Henry was treating her like his mother again-like he treated Emma instead of the evil queen. And maybe they would find this "Author" and maybe he would give her a happy ending. And maybe her and Robin would work out.

Maybe.


	3. Family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N After watching the mid-season finale... I decided a fanfiction was in order... And sorry, but Regina curses a lot when she thinks...

They were fucking going to hell. Literally. Or, the Underworld, as Emma kept correcting them. As if that sounded so much better. It was a stupid plan, they all knew it, but it might just work. Regina couldn't really blame Emma for wanting to get Hook back. She knew that there was a time when she would do so for Daniel, and now she would do it for Robin, Roland, Henry, and even the new baby. They were her family. It's what families did around here-they literally went to hell for each other. For love.

Love. The word still felt strange on her lips after all these years. So did the word family. The last people she had truly loved were her father-30 years ago, and Daniel, even longer still. And they were both dead. Her father was dead because of her, and Daniel was dead because of her mother. Her family was fucking dysfunctional.

But now here she was, a new woman. Changed because of Henry, and kept that way because of her family-Robin, her true love, and his boys, and the Charming family. She laughed at the thought-the Charming family. It was amazing how she went from hating snow White's guts, to being as close as family to her and her family, especially Emma. Well, they technically were family. That was the strangest bit, honestly. These curses had really screwed with their ages...their family tree... Technically Emma was her step granddaughter... She usually chose not to think about it.

Moving away from that mess, her mind wandered back towards Emma and their current situation. Hook. And Gold. Goddamn that Gold! He fucked everything up! He fucked with her and now he was fucking with Emma and it was not okay with her. She didn't understand how Belle could fall in love with that monster of a man. She was a smart girl, so why did she keep going back to him? Regina guessed it was the same as it was with all of them-the damn true love. Although, if Robin had fucked her over as many times as Rumple had fucked Belle over, she would have kicked his ass to the curb a long time ago... Although maybe that was a bit hypocritical coming from her...

She decided to abandon that train of thought as well and focus on what they were about to do. Go to hell. The thought was terrifying-the amount of people Regina had screwed over that would likely be there wanting revenge... Her mother... She shuddered. Why was she doing this again? Right. Emma. Hook. She really did still owe Hook. She kind of did fuck him over, making him kill his father...Regina owed Emma too, still. Emma had saved Regina in the first place from becoming the dark one. But it wasn't just that. She had already admitted it-they were family. And this is the shit their family did for each other these days.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a little AU. We are just gonna pretend the last three minutes or so of season four didn't happen, and that is where this takes place. I would LOVE some reviews, just sayin. Hope you enjoy!

Regina and Snow sat a few seats away from each other in Granny's diner one day, and the whole diner was quiet. Regina was staring blankly into her coffee as Snow was eating her breakfast. Regina swirled the spoon in her coffee, and Snow looked up at her, noticing the worried look on the woman's face.

"Regina, you okay?" Snow asked.

Regina looked up, startled. "Oh, yeah I'm fine," she replied, quickly looking away.

"You don't look fine," Snow said.

"I'm just thinking," Regina replied.

"You want to talk about it?" Snow asked.

"Why do you care," Regina said defensively.

"Because you look upset," Snow replied simply.

"Why do you care? After everything? And why did you give me so many chances? I was the Evil Queen! I tried to kill you, several times, and you still care if I'm upset? Why?" Regina asked, the words coming from her mouth like they were something she had wanted to know for a while.

"Because I knew you before," Snow replied. "Because I knew the woman you really are, and how you came to be 'evil.' I knew that woman who saved me on the horse that day was still in there somewhere," Snow replied.

Regina stared at her for a moment, "But I tried to ruin your happiness."

"But I ruined yours. And I knew that you were only heartbroken, and I knew about your mother, Regina. Someone told me once, evil is made, not born, and even if I hadn't known about Daniel. I knew you would have had to go through so much pain to become the woman you became."

"I'm never going to understand the Charming family," Regina said.

"Well none of that matters now. We all have our happy endings."


	5. Fight For Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N I wrote some outlaw queen <3 Regina-centric though. Read and Review my lovelies! :) We will survive this hiatus together!

"Robin?" Regina asked, her voice wavering a little bit. They were taking a walk by the Storybrooke lake- the one they had walked into to get to the underworld.

"Yes, my lady?"

"Why did you keep fighting for me, even when I pushed you away?" Regina asked. "Back when Marian slash my sister first came back."

"Because of this," he told her. "Because of the simple fact that you have to ask questions like that. You, Regina, still don't fully believe in yourself. You still aren't confidant in the person you became. And you were even less confident back then. Back then you were playing hero for Henry and trying to convince yourself you were one, but you didn't truly see the good in yourself. I did. I saw the good in you Regina. I saw the person you were becoming and the person you were trying to be. And someone I respect once told me that when you see the good in Someone you have stick with them and help them find it. Especially if they don't see it themselves," Robin told her. "Well that and the fact that you are exceptionally beautiful and I love you."

She had been looking at Robin in awe and amazement, but she allowed herself a small smile at his last comment.

"How did you see the good in me?" Regina asked, still unsure.

"Because I saw you with Roland and Henry and the Charming's baby. That's all the proof I needed that there was good in you Regina."

"I never will understand you hero types," Regina said, leaning into Robin.

"Oh, but you do, because you are one Regina. And I wasn't always a man of honor, anyway. I changed too. Once I was just an ordinary thief," he whispered to her, closing the gap between them.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N A Snow and Regina conversation. Pretend Regina was season 4 good hero Regina after Pan. Or this is right before Cora f's everything up. Please read and REVIEW!

Granny's diner was empty, aside from two women sitting side by side in silence at the bar with their drinks. And lord knows a drink is what both women needed after the last few weeks they had had

Snow looked over at her drinking partner, mustering up the courage to ask what had been on her mind since they had found their way home from Neverland and sorted out the whole Pan possessing Henry thing.

"Regina?" Snow asked her.

Regina looked up from her drink, "Yes?"

"What you said on Pan's island, at the tree of regrets..." Snow started.

"You want to know if I really don't regret taking all those innocent lives that I did," Regina stated, looking away. It wasn't a question. Snow nodded.

"We'll let me tell you something. That island is run on belief and if you tell yourself something for thirty plus years... sometimes you actually start to believe it," Regina said, averting her eyes and staring into her cup.

Snow looked away as well, and the two fell back almost into a comfortable silence, until Regina looked up at Snow again. "I'm sorry," she said.

"For what exactly?" Snow asked.

Regina sighed and wove her hand around, "For...everything I guess. For trying to kill you," Regina said bluntly yet sheepishly. "You know I never loved your father, he was a good man but I never loved him. I did see you as my little sister for a long while there though... Even after you ruined my life," Regina said.

"I wonder, sometimes, what would have happened if we hadn't came across that village you slaughtered, back in the enchanted forest, when we were talking and I didn't realize it was you. I wonder how life would have turned out if we had reconciled then," Snow responded, looking Regina in the eye.

"Well I guess I screwed that up huh?" Regina attempted to joke.

Snow smiled, "We both did. You think we could maybe do that reconciling now?"

Regina smiled too, her first real smile in a while that was aimed at anyone other than Henry, and nodded. "Yeah, maybe we can."


	7. That Ghost

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N This chapter is vaguely based off of the song That Ghost by Megan and Liz. The pain of her past actions as the Evil Queen has been with Regina a lot longer than we all knew, and just tonight she lets herself be vulnerable with Robin. *this chapter ending is really ironic post-Last Rights*

_The town was in flames, thick black smoke rising slowly into the sky. There was no sound aside for the crackling of the growing fire. The once green grass was now charred, and the remains of the small huts that once littered the field had crumbled to the ground. In the middle of it all stood a woman wearing clothes obviously fit for royalty and an evil gleam in her eye. She smiled at the wreckage and laughed, enjoying her power. She took one last look at her destruction and turned, about to walk away when she heard a rustling from one of the charred huts. She turned back towards the scene and saw a man limping out of the hut, carrying a small broken body._

_"You did this! You did this!" he yelled at her. "What kind of a woman has so little a heart that she kills innocent children?"_

_The woman's smile fell for only a moment at the sight of the child. Then she looked back up into the eyes of the peasant yelling at her. "A woman who will do anything to get her happy ending," she replied._

_"One day," he threatened her, "one day you will think you've found your happy ending and all this," he gestured at the ruins around him, "this will haunt you. One day your happy ending will get snatched away from you for all of your crimes!"_

_"How dare you-" "What are you going to do? Kill me," he glanced around at the bodies surrounding him._

_The woman faltered only a moment as she followed his gaze, "No," she said. "I am going to spare you and force you to live knowing I took away everything you love," she replied, looking at the man's dead son._

_"Anyone who dare hurt a child shall be cursed! One day, Your Majesty," he said the name condescendingly, "you will lose everything that matters to you!"_

* * *

 

"Regina!" a voice called, waking her up. Regina bolted upright, covered in a cold sweat just like she had every night for as long as she could remember, until she had met Robin. Him being with her had stopped the nightmares for a while, but not tonight.

"Regina, are you all right?" Robin had an arm around her shoulders and brushed the hair away that had fallen into her face.

"I-I'm fine," she replied, her voice a little raspy, not looking him in the eyes. "It was just a nightmare."

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked her. "I find nightmares are a little less scary when you talk about them."

She shook her head no. She was used to Robin's concern for her by now, but this-this made her feel like she was a child. Like she needed to be protected. It made her feel weak. Weak. The word echoed in her mind and all at once she could hear the voices of everyone who had made her feel like that. Her mother being at the top of the list. But Robin... he didn't make her feel weak. Loving him was her strength. Never mind her mother, Regina wouldn't be weak for admitting to fear, she would be weak for letting her mother continue to have power over her.

"Are you sure?" Robin asked her. "You can talk to me about anything. You don't always have to hold it all in. You don't always have to be so strong all by yourself," he assured her.

Regina swallowed and nodded, opening her mouth to speak, deciding just this once it was okay to be vulnerable, "I've been having reoccurring nightmares ever since I was a little girl," she started. "The content of them has changed throughout the years, but this one..." Her voice trailed off and she shook her head. "It's not just a nightmare, it's a memory. From when I was the Evil Queen."

"Your ghosts came back to haunt you," he replied knowingly. Regina nodded. "May I ask what about this one has you so distraught?" Robin asked.

Regina looked away from him, "It's... it's not something a care to talk about. But the general gist of it is that I hurt someone... in the worst way imaginable. And what he said to me after has haunted me very since," she whispered, avoiding all eye contact with Robin.

"You aren't that woman anymore, Regina. It's something I tell you time and time again and so does your son and everyone else in this town. You need to realize that no one is going to run away from you. You are loved as you are. I know your past, but it doesn't matter because the woman I know wouldn't hurt anyone unless she was protecting her family," Robin said, looking at the woman he loved, not quite understanding how deep the pain and self-loathing within Regina went, and how much it would take for her to believe him.

Regina tore her eyes away from Robin's and looked back down at their intertwined hands, "When I was a child, the nightmares would always be of my mother, of her magic. And then for years and years my nightmare was just my memory of Daniel's death replayed over and over again. But this dream I have now, this memory... it started a few weeks after it happened... " Robin squeezed her hand, offering her silent support and encouraging her to finish.

"It was when I-the Evil Queen was trying to go after Snow White and a whole town refused to give her up. It seemed to be a small town and I didn't think twice when I sent it up in flames. I killed everyone, including a small child. A little boy. His father managed to escape their hut and told me that one day when I had my happy ending it would all be taken from me because of my crimes," Regina whispered, not daring to look back up at him, knowing what she would see. Shock, anger, hatred, disappointment, fear... they were all emotions she was used to. So when he lifted her chin up with his hand to make her look at him, the emotion she saw on his face didn't fit. He was smiling slightly at her, but there was love in his eyes.

She looked at him in confusion, and he could see a slight trace of fear on her face, "Why aren't you running away screaming?" she asked, trying and failing to put on a brave face.

"Regina, I told you. You aren't that woman anymore. How long have you been having this nightmare?" Robin asked.

"A very long time," she responded. "I think with everything that has happened to you, the guilt you carry with you every day, the person you've became... you have more than made up for what you did as the Evil Queen," he told her.

"I may not be the woman I was anymore, but that doesn't mean I've paid for what I've done either!" Regina argued back. "I asked Mary Margaret, is it really doing good if you do good in the hopes of getting forgiven?" she asked.

"When you saved Roland in the Enchanted Forest, that wasn't in the hopes of being forgiven. You had just lost a child, had no immediate reason to try and be good but you did and you saved my son on instinct, Regina. You are innately good, whether the Evil Queen shows through on occasion or not," he argued.

"But-"

"Regina why are you trying so hard to prove that you aren't good? Why can't you just accept that you are a hero?" Robin asked her.

"Because I don't deserve to be forgiven, whether I am good or not," she whispered back, tears gleaming in her eyes.

Robin's gaze softened and he wrapped his arms around her, gently pulling her to lay down with him, finally seeing what he hadn't understood just moments before. Finally seeing just how deep her self-loathing ran. Regina's head rested on Robin's chest as he held her. He could feel her crying and he just held her tighter.

"You deserve your happy ending, Regina," Robin said finally. "Roland loves you, your son loves you, I know the Charming's and Emma consider you to be family. I love you Regina. You're just going to have to get used to being loved, because I promise you it's not going anywhere ever again," he whispered, and kissed the top of her head.

"I love you too," Regina answered him, and for the first time in a long time she almost felt like it wasn't going to be taken from her. And for the first time there was someone else other than Henry who made her feel like she was worth something.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Set somewhere in between everyone getting their memories, and that damn time portal. Ignore the canon "I'm taking Henry to NY" fight in the diner. I thought this was Regina centric enough to post it here? Correct me if I'm wrong. PLEASE REVIEW! :D

"Emma, wait," Snow said.

"What?" asked Emma.

"I know you want to take Henry back to New York when this is all over-"

"Mom, I really don't want to talk about this right now-"

"Emma, just hear me out," Snow practically begged, and so Emma rolled her eyes and crossed her arms protectively across her chest but let her mother continue speaking.

Snow breathed a sigh of relief and continued, "Emma, you and I both know you wanting to leave isn't just about how happy Henry was, but despite whatever you may be feeling you have to think about Henry. That's what being a mother is. Do you really think he wants to leave Storybrooke?"

"This coming from the woman who sent her daughter alone into another realm in a wardrobe?" Emma asked incredulously.

"Emma, that's not fair," Snow said, a hurt look on her face.

Emma sighed, "I know, I'm sorry. But we both know what Henry is going to want but he is a child and I am the adult. I know what's best for him. I am his mother. That's what being a mother is."

"One of his mother's," Snow corrected her. "Henry just got Regina back and Regina just got her son back. She does not deserve to have her son taken from her again," Snow said, advocating on Regina's behalf.

"I'm not saying I'm not going to let him visit or anything, I'm just saying it will be better for him in New York where he had real friends! I have raised him alone for the past year-" Snow cut her off.

"Emma! Listen to yourself. You have had Henry for the past year and I know you loved being the only one in Henry's life, but Regina has been alone for the past year. Do you know what she tried to do during that year?" Snow asked.

Emma paused, "She didn't try to go all dark again did she?"

"Not in they way you're thinking. As soon as we got back into the Enchanted Forest, Regina snuck away and I went to find her. Do you want to know what she was doing?" Snow asked.

Emma looked at her with questioning eyes and Snow continued, "She pulled her heart out and was burying it it so she didn't have to feel the pain of losing Henry. And Robin told me this story, but the Wicked Witch had taken over our castle and Regina and Robin went in to lower the shields. When they got in there, apparently Regina made herself a sleeping curse. For herself. So that she could only be woken up by Henry. Obviously she didn't end up taking it, but that was just the first two days Emma. You don't even want to hear about Henry's birthday," Snow finished, giving a meaningful look to Emma, who was starting to feel guilty.

Emma sighed and looked away. She knew her mom was right, but that didn't change the fact that she was trying to do what was best for Henry...and maybe herself too, she had to admit.

"Emma, I know you want him to love you and only you, but Regina deserves her son. She loves him so much. She broke the curse by kissing his forehead, just like you did Emma. You can't take that away from her."

Emma slumped down on the stool next to the kitchen counter, "this sucks," she said. "Is it bad I almost wished he hadn't regained his memories?" Emma asked.

"Not wanting to share your child? No one can fault you for that. You just have to remember how you felt when Regina was keeping Henry away from you," Snow said.

Emma sighed, "I know."

"So are you staying?"

"Yeah. For Regina."


	9. Happy Birthday Regina

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N So according to Lana Parrilla, Regina's birthday is on February 1st. This is in honor of our Queen's birthday. *this was posted on February 1st on ff.net*

Regina's 10th Birthday

Regina awoke to the whole house smelling like pancakes and bacon. It was the most wonderful smell and without thinking, Regina raced down the stairs towards the kitchen. She glanced at the food and then at the sink, which was empty of any dishes. She realized her mother must have used magic for it and her heart sunk into her stomach.

"Regina, what are you doing down here like that? I told you yesterday, you will wear your best clothes and you will behave like a lady!" Cora said to her daughter, her tone sharp and unkind.

"But mother-"

"No buts! Go up and change your clothes this instant!" Regina didn't move and Cora raised her voice. "Now," she used her magic to push Regina towards the stairs, not gently, and Regina ran up the stairs, tears in her eyes.

Even in her room Regina could hear her parents arguing. Her father was trying to hold his ground the best he could, but was failing.

"Cora please, it's her birthday," Henry said.

"I am aware, Henry. Which is why she must act like a lady. If she is ever to be Queen she must learn someday," Cora replied sharply.

"Yes, but my dear-"

"This is final, Henry! She will come down those stairs in her dress!" Cora said, leaving no room for her husband to argue.

Cora decided that year would be would be Regina's last birthday breakfast, since she couldn't behave. "Besides," she had said, "A queen must always look her best and eating so much food like that won't help," she said, looking disapprovingly at her daughter.

Regina's 16th birthday

"Daniel, what are we doing?" Regina asked him.

"It is your birthday isn't it?" he asked.

"Yes, but what about my mother?" Regina asked, wide eyed, and Daniel could see the fear in her eyes. He didn't know the extent of how Cora punished Regina, Regina wouldn't tell him. All she would say is that he didn't want to know, and the fear on her face when telling him showed him just how bad Cora was.

"Forget about your mother. Just for today? Not even the whole day, just a few hours. It's your birthday, you deserve something special," Daniel said. He could see the conflict in her.

"It sounds wonderful... but what if I get caught?" Regina questioned, the fear still there.

"We won't. I promise," he told her. He could see her start to relax a little bit and could only hope he would say yes.

"Okay, but only a little while," she agreed finally.

Daniel smiled and snuck a kiss on her cheek, "Great, let's get on to the horses and we can go up to the hill. I have lunch already prepared and packed," he said, grabbing a basket from the table beside them.

Half an hour later, the pair found themselves on the hill, and were enjoying their sandwiches when Daniel pulled something out of the basket for Regina.

"A cupcake? My mother doesn't pay you nearly enough for you to buy sweets," she said, surprised. "How did you manage-"

Daniel shut her up by kissing her gently. "That's not important. All that matters is you get some actual cake to celebrate your birthday," he told her.

"I love you," she told him.

"I love you too," he replied.

Regina's 19th Birthday

Regina glanced at the clock as it turned midnight. She briefly registered that midnight marked the start of her nineteenth birthday. It was her nineteenth birthday and here she was, all alone in the castle, as usual. She was fairly certain the King didn't even know her birthday. Or if he did, he didn't care. All he cared about was his precious daughter. Snow White. The eleven year old angel.

Regina sighed and rose from her bed, knowing there was no way she was falling asleep tonight. She called on one of her many maids, "Is there any chocolate cake in the kitchens that could be brought up?" she asked.

"Of course Your Majesty. May I ask the occasion?" her maid asked.

"Nothing of importance to anyone other than myself," she replied not unkindly to her maid, "the day used to be a special one, but not so much any more." She knew it was true too. The only person who had ever cared about her birthday was Daniel, who was dead. Her last good birthday was with him. Her sixteenth. Her last two birthdays had been spent in a dress with her mother and her mother's "friend's." At least at the end of the day the past two years she had been able to sneak off to see Daniel for a few minutes, but she couldn't do that now.

Nothing about this birthday was good. It was her first stuck in this lonely castle, and it was her first without her true love. The maid soon returned to Regina's chambers, a slice of chocolate cake in hand. "Thank you," she said.

The maid nodded, "Happy birthday your majesty," also handing Regina a piece of parchment. "Your father sent this."

Regina looked up at her in surprise and read the note:

My Dear Regina,

Happy Birthday my daughter. I apologize for my absence on this special day, but I hope you can still find happiness on your birthday. I love you.

Love Your Father,

Henry

Regina looked at her maid, "Thank you," she said, tears in her eyes.

The maid nodded, "Please do try to enjoy yourself today."

"Thank you," Regina replied again.

Regina's 25th Birthday

Regina looked at the apple in her hand and crushed it. It fell to pieces at her feet and then disappeared into dust with a wisp of magic. She hated the day. It brought back memories she didn't want to have. She thought of Daniel and her last good birthday. It was nine years ago now. And seven years since she was last with Daniel. He was dead. All because of her. All because of Snow White.

She glanced up at a knock on her bedroom door, knowing who it was. "Come in," she said sharply.

"Regina," her father said. "Please try and enjoy today," he pleaded with her.

"I can't enjoy today, father. I haven't been able to enjoy today at all for seven years! Because of Snow White! Because of what she did!" Regina raged.

Henry sighed and looked at his daughter, wishing there was something he could do to push her back to the side of light. "Regina, maybe for today you can just let your revenge wait?" he asked her hopefully.

"No! I must destroy Snow White's happiness," Regina said, holding on to her anger tighter today then Henry had seen her do in a while.

"Well how about some cake first?" he asked.

Regina hesitated, "Is it chocolate?" she asked.

"Of course it is," Henry replied. The pair sat together and ate their cake, and for a that day, Henry swore he could see the little girl she once was before everything that happened to her did.

Regina's Birthday when Henry is 6

"Mama, mama!" Regina woke up to her six year old's little voice and him jumping on her.

"Oh, Henry! What did I tell you about getting up so early on Saturday's?" she asked him.

"I know, I'm sorry," Henry said looking slightly ashamed, but then he lit back up again, " but I wanted to tell you something!"

Regina sighed, "What?" she asked.

"Happy Birthday!" he told her loudly, jumping back on top of her to hug her.

Regina's jaw dropped open. She hadn't told Henry it was her birthday or even when her birthday was.

"Thank you baby, but how did you know it was my birthday?" she asked, the shock still obvious on her face.

"You wouldn't tell me so I asked Ms. Blanchard to help me figure it out," Henry told her. "And she reminded me yesterday," he whispered the second part.

Regina had to laugh, despite how many bad memories the day held. She had never wanted Henry to know her birthday so she would never have to acknowledge the day again, but maybe making it a happy event again would be better than ignoring it.

"I'll tell you what, since you went through such hard work to figure it out and it's my birthday, we can go to Granny's diner for cake for breakfast," she told him.

"Really!?" Henry practically shouted in excitement. His mother rarely allowed sweets, and never for breakfast.

"Really," Regina said to him. "Hurry up and go get dressed and we can go," Regina said.

Breakfast that morning was delicious, and Regina hadn't had a bithday so good in a very long time.

Regina's Birthday the first year Emma Came

Henry was upstairs, asleep in his bedroom. Regina was sitting down on the couch, with a bottle of her finest and strongest alcohol. It was her birthday. The day she had hated for so long and learned to love again with Henry back in her life. But today's birthday just plain sucked.

She was losing her son to that damn Emma Swan. He was figuring out about the curse and everything she had done. He hated her. She was losing the only thing she loved and she didn't know what to do. She didn't know what she would do if she completely lost her son. She pressed the bottle of alcohol to her lips and drank, trying to rid herself of all the memories and pain the day was bringing back. Trying to drown it all out. She knew she would have a killer headache in the morning and before she passed out, she managed to make her way upstairs with both a glass of water and the bottle of Advil. She didn't often drink herself to sleep, but she decided today could be an exception.

Regina's Birthday in the Enchanted Forest Without Henry

Regina heard a knock on her door, and ignored it, knowing exactly who it was.

"Regina, open up!" Snow called.

"No," Regina answered.

"Regina please, just come out to the Great Hall for dinner tonight. I know you don't want to and I know why, but please. Just tonight," Snow said.

Regina didn't answer and she could hear when Snow sighed and finally walked away.

Being back in this castle on this day brought back memories, and that was before you even added her son into the mix. Being back in the castle on her birthday just brought back the crushing loneliness of all those years. Eventually she decided to join Snow and her troupe for dinner, and she made her way into the Great hall. It was mostly empty by this point aside for Snow, Charming, Grumpy, Granny, Red and to her surprise, Robin and Roland.

"Hello," she said, not expecting Robin or Roland.

"Regina, you came!" Snow said.

"Yeah, sorry I'm late," Regina said. The line fell flat on her tongue, however, when she glanced at the clock and realized it had been at least an hour since Snow had tried to get her to come to dinner.

She glanced over at Roland as she was getting her plate of food and saw him whispering to his father. When she finished her dinner (everyone else was long done) Snow called it time for dessert. As Granny went to get dessert, Roland turned to his father, "Now?" he asked, rather loudly. Snow and Robin nodded at him and Roland got up and ran over to her.

"Happy Birthday Ms. Regina!" Roland said, hugging her, as Granny brought out a big chocolate cake.

Regina looked, shocked at everyone around her, not thinking they would ever do anything like this.

"Thank you," she said to Roland, and out of the corner of her eye she could see Snow smiling at her.

The cake was eaten and Regina was happier in the Enchanted Forest than she had been in a while.

Regina's Birthday in Camelot

Regina awoke in her bed with Robin in Camelot, and she moved herself closer to him and ran a hand through his hair, waking him up.

"Good morning m'lady," Robin said groggily.

"Good morning," she replied and he pulled her in for a kiss.

"What was that for?" she asked, smiling.

"You didn't think I had forgotten, did you? And I doubt anyone else will either. Happy birthday Regina," Robin told her, pulling her in for another kiss.

Regina smiled when they pulled apart. The pair eventually got up from their warm bed and got changed into their Camelot outfits. They made their way down to where they met everyone else for breakfast.

"Mom! Happy birthday!" Henry said when he saw them, running towards Regina giving her a hug followed closely by Roland.

The whole morning Regina received "happy birthday's" left and right, more than she had her entire life. That evening Snow made sure they all got chocolate cake, and despite the fact they were trying to save Emma from the darkness, it was one of the best birthday's she had ever had in her life.

She was here, surrounded by her family. She had love in her life with Robin and little Roland. She had her son. She had family in the Charming's and Emma. She was happy and that canceled out all the bad memories of birthday's of the past. She had learned to move on. None of that mattered anymore. This year, her birthday celebrated this new life she had found. Real family was better than she could have ever imagined.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Happy birthday Regina Mills. Hopefully our Queen is happy on her birthday:)


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one took a while to get done, writing and typing. Please Review and such!

Regina locked herself in her bed chambers and was not letting anyone in. Not today. Not when she was in this much pain, this weak, this alone... No one could see her like this. It was almost worse than then seeing her as the Evil Queen again

"Regina!" Snow knocked in the door.

"Go away! I still have my fireballs and I will not hesitate in throwing one at you," Regina yelled back, using the most intimidating voice she could muster in the state she was in. It was the third time Snow had knocked in her door that day, and Regina was more than a little pissed at her.

It was usually one if her favorite days in their year, but this one felt like absolute torture. It was Henry's birthday, the first one Regina hadn't been with him for. What made it hurt even more was that she knew he didn't remember any of his birthdays with her. He didn't remember the special dinner at Granny's or how they would always have ice cream and a movie night, complete with popcorn and various candies. He didn't remember any of it. All his memories were with Emma now. It made her feel more alone than she had ever felt since returning to the Enchanted Forest.

She had been resisting the urge to rip her heart out for the past few hours but it was becoming more and more tempting with each passing moment. She was staring at the red handprint Henry had made for her when he was just a toddler. It was the only thing non native to the Enchanted Forest that she had been able to pull over from Storybrooke with this new curse. She put her hand over his little handprint and a tear slipped down her face.

-meanwhile-

"David, I'm worried about her," Snow told her husband.

"You know Regina, Snow. She's strong, she'll pull through. And she's stubborn-if she isn't letting you in, you're not getting in. You just have to trust that she'll be okay," David told his pregnant wife. She had been watching over Regina ever since they came back to the Enchanted Forest, but even more so in a motherly way since the beginnings of her pregnancy.

"We don't know that this time! Henry was all she had left," Snow argued.

"If you're worried about Regina, you can go check in her again but we both know she's not going to let you in," David said.

Snow was about to answer when someone else cut in.

"Why are you worried about ?" young Roland, who caught the tail end of their conversation, asked.

Snow turned, surprised toward the young boy, "Regina is just sad. We wanted to make sure she's okay," she told the young boy with a slight smile.

"Oh," Roland said, biting his lip.

"Where's your-" Snow started, but at that moment Robin came running in.

"Roland! I told you to stay with little John," Robin said, picking the little boy up.

"Sorry Papa," answered Roland.

"I apologize for my son's behavior. I hadn't meant to let him run off," Robin said, addressing Snow and David.

"Oh no, it's fine, really," David said, and Snow nodded, ruffling the little boy's hair.

"We must be going, right Roland?" Robin asked his son. Roland nodded, and he and Robin bade their farewells to Snow and Charming.

"Papa?" Roland asked his father, once they had left the great hall that Snow and Charming were in. "Can we go visit Ms. Regina?"

"Why do you want to do that?" Robin asked.

"Because the prince and princess said Ms. Regina was sad, and I want to help her be not sad," Roland explained.

"Roland, my boy, I'm not quite sure that's a good idea-"

"Please Papa? Please? I promise I'll be good!" Roland begged his father.

Robin sighed, not sure that the queen would want to see them if she really was upset, but also unable to resist his son's pleading eyes.

"Oh, all right," Robin said.

"Yay!" Roland squealed, taking off towards Regina's chambers.

"Woah, son. Slow down," Robin said when they reached Regina's room, "You have to knock, you can't just barge in."

Roland reached his small fist up to knock on the big wooden doors.

"Snow, I told you I have a-" Regina started, but she was cut off by a small voice.

" Ms. Regina?" Roland called into the room, knocking again.

Regina looked up in surprise from where she was sitting, looking into her big mirror on her dresser. She debated for a moment on whether or not to open the door, but after a moments hesitation she made her way over to the doors and opened them for Roland, who was carrying the stuffed monkey that Regina had given to him.

"Hi !" Roland said happily, hugging her legs. Regina bent down to hug the boy she had grown quite fond of in the past few months in the Enchanted Forest.

"Hi Roland. What are you two doing here?" Regina asked, aiming her question more towards Robin.

"He wanted to come see you," Robin told Regina. Regina nodded and Roland added solemnly, "The Princess told the Prince you were sad and I wanted to come make you not sad!" Roland told Regina.

Regina's smile faltered and she glanced up at Robin who was looking away but she pretended it didn't bother her. "Oh yeah?" Regina asked Roland. Roland nodded and Robin was starting to look a little uncomfortable with the whole situation, but there was a look of admiration on his face at how good Regina was with Roland.

"Now Roland, we can only stay a few minutes of the queen permits it. I will have to let little John watch you while I go attend to some things with the rest of the Merry Men," Robin told Roland quietly.

"But Papa, I want to stay with Ms. Regina!" Roland whined.

"Now Roland, what did I tell you about whining?" Robin asked.

"Sorry Papa," Robin said quietly, before his attention was quickly turned back to Regina.

"You know," Regina found herself saying, "I could watch Roland for a little while if you want?" Regina asked Robin. "That is, if Roland wants to stay with me?"

Robin hesitated, but the picture of his son standing his hand in the Queen's was too much to say no to. He never could say no to Roland.

"That's okay with me if you're sure you're okay with it?" Robin asked Regina.

"It will be fun, right Roland?" Regina asked the little boy.

"Yeah!" he said enthusiastically, and Robin smiled.

"Okay, I guess I'll be back in a few hours then," Robin said, "Don't get into any trouble, okay Roland?"

"I won't, Papa," Roland said.

"Thank you for this, really," Robin told Regina. Regina smiled and nodded and Robin left.

For some reason being with this energetic four year old made her happier then she had been all day. Sure she still missed Henry, and sure she still wished they were back home with all her heart, but Roland numbed the pain better than ripping her heart out. His innocence and happy nature reminded her of when Henry was that young, and amongst the pain she had to smile.

"So Roland, what do you want to do?" she asked him.

Roland's face scrunched up in thought for a moment, "Can we play hide and seek?" he asked her.

"Of course! Do you want to go upstairs? There are better hiding spots up there," Regina told him, a smile on her voice.

"Yeah!" Roland exclaimed. Regina picked the four year old up and magicked them upstairs. Roland looked disoriented for a minute before he started babbling about how cool Regina's magic was.

"Okay, I'm going to count to fifteen and you hide," Regina said.

"Okay!" Roland answered, trying his very best to quietly find a spot. Trying was the key word, however and Regina knew exactly where he was hiding before she even opened her eyes.

"Fifteen!" she said, "I wonder where Roland could be?" Regina asked aloud, pretending to not know where he had hidden.

"In here?" she asked, opening up a cabinet. "No...Is he in here?" Regina looked under the table, "No...hmm how about..." her vice trailed off as she quietly snuck up to where she knew Roland to be hiding. She could hear the little boy giggle. "In here?" she pulled back the curtain to the big window and there was Roland.

"You found me!" he said.

"Yep, I did!" Regina replied, picking the boy up and tickling him.

Roland giggled uncontrollably as Regina tickled him, stopping once it was obvious he had giggled too much and needed air. The next hour and a half carried on like that, Regina and Roland taking turns hiding. Regina would hide in places obvious enough for a four year old and would pretend to not know where Roland was when he hid.

"There you are!" Regina said, picking up the boy who proceeded to let out a big yawn. He probably still took naps at that age, Regina realized.

"All right, I think it's time to be done with hide and seek," Regina said.

"I don't wanna, you're fun !" Roland said. Regina smiled.

"I have an idea, how about we go outside to the garden and I'll give you a surprise," Regina offered.

Roland's eyes lit up in excitement, "Yeah!" he said. Regina took his hand and the pair walked out towards the garden. Regina sat down on a bench out there, and Roland sat next to her.

Regina waved her hand and a bowl of chocolate ice cream and a spoon appeared in her hand.

"What's that?" Roland asked in wonder.

"It's something you've never had before-ice cream," she said, holding it out towards the boy. "Here, take a bite," she said, holding the spoon towards Roland.

Roland took a bite and his face twisted like he had just eaten a lemon and Regina laughed. "Do you like it?" She asked.

"It's cold," Roland replied, "but yummy," he added. Regina handed him the bowl an he inhaled the whole thing in a matter of minutes, leaving his face covered in chocolate. Regina conjured up a wet cloth and wiped Roland's sticky face off.

Roland yawned again, his head nodding down to rest on Regina's arm. "You ready to go back inside?" she asked him softly.

"Yeah,"Roland replied. Regina picked the tired boy up and he rested his head in her shoulder. In seconds, Roland was fast asleep in Regina's arms.

Regina walked inside, up the first flight of stairs and she had just made it to the Great Hall when she ran into Snow. "Regina!" Snow exclaimed, surprised.

"Be quiet!" Regina whisper-yelled, nodding her head to the little boy in her arms.

"Sorry," Snow replied. "What are you doing," she asked.

"What does it look like I'm doing? I'm babysitting," Regina said sarcastically, as per usual.

"Robin's son?" Snow asked with a smirk, raising her eyebrows. She had been attempting to push Regina towards Robin since the moment he helped them I the forest. Regina had been resisting.

Regina rolled her eyes and responded, "Yes, Robin's son. Roland. Now if you'll excuse me, I was going to take him upstairs until his father comes to get him," Regina said.

Snow smiled as Regina left, surprised and grateful that Regina was out of her room today, and dare she say, happy.

Regina carried Roland back up to her room and laid him in the bed, careful not to wake him. She checked to clock in her room, seeing that Robin should be back for Roland any time now. Regina sighed and sat down at her dresser and looked at Roland. Watching him today had numbed the pain of not having Henry with her. He also made her forget that in this land she was the Evil Queen. Roland didn't see her like that. In his innocent eyes, she was just Ms. Regina. The person who saved him, gave him a stuffed monkey, played hide and seek with him, and gave him ice cream. It was the most she had been seen as herself, as just Regina and not the Evil Queen or Madame Mayor Mills in a very long time.

She was ripped from her thoughts with a knock on her open bedroom door.

"Oh, Robin. You're here," she said.

"Hello, your majesty," Robin smiled.

The title that used to give her power now made her cringe after her day with Roland.

"You can just call me Regina," she told him.

"Are you sure?" he asked, having been yelled at her before for not calling her by her proper title, though he had always suspected it was a façade.

Regina nodded, "I'm sure. Roland and I played hide and seek, then we went to the garden and I introduced him to ice cream. He fell asleep not too long a ago," she said.

"Ice cream?" he asked.

"It's a dessert from Storybrooke-the land we were in," Regina explained.

"Oh, well thank you for watching him. He seems to really like you. Did he behave?" Robin asked.

Regina nodded, "Oh he was very well behaved. And I like watching him. He... He reminds me of my son when he was that age," Regina admitted.

"That's why you were upset today, wasn't it?" Robin asked.

Regina instinctively moved to snap that it was none of his business, but instead she answered with a yes.

Robin smiled and moved to gently pick up his son as to not wake him from his nap.

"Thank you again," Robin told her.

Regina could feel the pain that was eating at her earlier in the day slowly coming back, "You can bring him over whenever he wants to or whenever you need a babysitter," Regina offered.

Robin smiled and nodded, "I shall tell him you said that. You can come visit him whenever you wish as well, Regina," he said knowingly.

"Thank you," she said.

Robin nodded, "And thank you again for watching him."

"Of course," Regina answered as Robin turned and left with his son.

She said too much, she knew. She made her self look weak talking about her son but at the moment she didn't really care. She had a standing invitation to Roland whenever she wished and Roland could come visit her. Even that thief with that damn tattoo was growing on her. Roland made her day bearable, despite the occasion and that was with a few spilled secrets and some proof for the thief that the once Evil Queen isn't quite so evil anymore.


	11. She Used To Be Mine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Regina fic inspired by the song "She Used To Be Mine" by Sara Bareilles. Wrote this a whileee ago. Disclaimer: I used the dialogue from the scene where Regina tries to put herself under a sleeping curse. I don't own it, or OUAT.

She was the Queen-no the Evil Queen, she reminded herself. She shouldn't be feeling like this. She shouldn't have empathy or mercy and she definitely shouldn't miss the weak person she used to be. Because that is what she was. Weak.

She had weaknesses. She could be hurt. She was naive and good and kind and only wanted to please her mother and she was broken and alone but she had Daniel and love and-and love... That was taken away by Snow White. And Snow White had to be punished for taking her only source of happiness and freedom away.

The Evil Queen's heart filled back up with vengeance at the thought, and her memories of the innocent little girl she once was were shoved back into a box and soon forgotten.

The Queen momentarily remembered what she had said before, however, and a sudden pang of regret pierced through her chest. "The Queen is dead, long live the Evil Queen," she whispered to herself. That girl that saved Snow White's life, that girl that had love in her life, despite her mother's abuse, that girl who didn't want to give into the darkness was long gone. Long Live the Evil Queen.

They were in the Enchanted Forest again, and for Regina it brought back memories. None of them good. Being here in the Evil Queen outfit and in her old castle, it reminded her of the woman she was, and the girl she was long before that.

There were two versions of herself that lived in this forest, one version she admired and one she was ashamed of. She remembered the Evil Queen in her and the girl in love with the stable boy. Which she admired and which she despised should be obvious.

She admired the person in herself who once was innocent, nieve and kind and who had love in her life. Now she was alone in the Enchanted forest, Henry, her only love and only reason to live, taken from her once again. She supposed this was her punishment for so many years of giving into the darkness. Not that she had much of a chance to fight it, not with Rumple whispering darkness and revenge in her ear, and her mother's words that made her feel like she was weak-like she was nothing. Between her mother and Rumpelstiltskin she was turned into a monster, but she let it happen. She had to fault the naive version of herself for that.

She never meant to become the Evil Queen. She had never meant to hurt anyone, but it all just snuck into her heart a little at a time and before she even realized what she had became, she was given the title the "Evil Queen." Being back in the Enchanted Forest reminded her of that person and how no matter how hard she tried to go back to the way she once was, she would always have the scars of the Evil Queen, and the Evil Queen is how everyone would always see her. She was stuck as this half transformed woman, this person who wanted so badly to be good again, to have love in her life and to stop the pain of her childhood. Henry was the only one who could take that pain away, and now she was doomed to never see him again.

Henry. That's who she was thinking of when she tore her heart out and that's who she was thinking about now, making the sleeping curse.

"What is that?" Robin, the thief who had insisted on helping her break into her castle asked.

"Nothing that concerns you," Regina answered. The thief reached for an arrow and Regina resisted the urge to roll her eyes.

"How dare you threaten me in my own castle!" she said and without batting an eye she used her magic to put him into the all too familiar choking position.

"Even if you choke the life out of me this arrow will still leave my bow and trust me I never miss," the thief threatened her. Regina looked at him and she thought of Henry. He would hate that she was doing this. She hated that she had already reverted back to this. Regina let the magic holding him go and he dropped back to the floor. He asked again what she was making.

"A sleeping curse," she answered finally. If she was going to use it, he wouldn't be able to stop her. They exchanged words on her reasons for coming to the castle in the moment or two it took for her to make the potion.

"Who do you plan to use it on?"

"Don't worry. No one you'll miss. No one anyone will miss," she answered. And she knew it was the truth. No one would miss her, no one would care if the Evil Queen turned up dead. Good riddance they would think. Because she killed so many people, ruined so many lives. When Robin asks if it's about her son and tells her that she can't give up, it almost gives her pause, almost makes her change her mind. But in this realm, she remembers, she is the Evil Queen again, and she knew in time Robin would see her as so, not as the woman with a broken heart who saved his son.

She is saved from her sleeping curse, given a reason to live by the Wicked Witch, but it doesn't give Regina the will to live, it gives the Evil Queen the will to live. "Someone to destroy," she had said. Because in this land that's all she would ever be. The Evil Queen. The Evil Queen would be guided by the other two versions of herself, but Regina and the Girl Who Loved The Stable Boy were gone. She missed them; their kindness, their eagerness to please, their love... but she lost Regina when she lost Henry. And she didn't think she would ever get that back. Long live the Evil Queen.

It was strange, not being the villain for once, not being the person everyone was on edge around. It felt good to not be the person people were afraid of. Not that she wanted Emma to be the villain, but it was a nice change for Regina at least, stepping into Emma's shoes. In Camelot she was the Savior. Her past didn't matter, even when they learned that she was once the Evil Queen. Well... until Arthur turned on them that is, but that still didn't even have to do with her. For once in her life, she hadn't done anything wrong to get them where they were.

She was able to be one of the heroes.

She was nothing like she used to be, yet close to what she once was. The Evil Queen was gone, and the young girl had found a place back in her heart. She had the goodness back but she also had the wisdom of knowing what was on both sides. She knew what the evil felt like and she knew what the good felt like. It shaped her into who she was. And now she had family. It wasn't the family she asked for and it wasn't the family she had wanted but it was better than she had ever expected. Yes, there were still days where she wished she could rewinds the tapes and save Daniel, skip ever being the Evil Queen, but she reminded herself if she did that she would never have Henry. And he was what really mattered to her. Her happy ending wasn't what she expected but she was happy, and that was all she could ask for. Finally, the Evil Queen was dead. Long Live Regina: the woman who found her happy ending.


	12. Mama

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Roland accidently calls Regina Mama. Wrote this a bit ago and just typed it. Please read and REVIEW! (pleaseeeeeeee?) Thanks, hope you enjoy:)

Regina woke up Thursday morning at 2a.m. to crying coming from Roland's room.

"Robin, wake up," Regina whispered, attempting to wake him up.

"What?" he asked sleepily.

"Roland's crying," Regina replied, her voice rising on panic as she and Robin got out of the bed and went into Roland's room. They walked an to see Roland sitting up in his bed, crying.

"Roland, sweetheart, what's wrong?" Regina asked, picking Roland up.

"I-I had a bad d-dream," Roland stuttered.

"It's okay, it's just a dream. Do you want to tell me and your daddy what it was about?" Regina asked him.

"There-there was a m-monster in the c-closet and it took me and Henry and-and," Roland started crying again as Regina rocked him. Robin smirked at her, both of them a little amused that out of everything Roland had seen, he still had nightmares about monsters in the closet.

"Hey, it's okay Roland. There aren't any monsters in the closet and if there were I promise I'd protect you and Henry. No monsters are getting either of you," Regina said. She said the words to calm the boy down but she meant them. Never again would she let any monster-including her sister- put their hands on Henry or Roland ever again.

"You'll protect me?" Roland asked, his innocent eyes still full of tears.

"Of course Roland. And so will daddy and all his Merry Men and Emma and Mary Margaret and David and everyone else in this family," Regina said.

Robin, who had been watching the encounter with his true love and his son, was smiling.

"Okay Roland, I think it's time for you to get back in bed," Robin said to his son. "You need rest and so do I and Regina."

"Okay Papa," Roland said with a yawn, still snuggling against Regina. Regina put him back down in his bed and Robin moved over to tuck him in. By the time they reached the door, Roland was almost asleep.

Regina shut off the lights, "Goodnight Roland," she said, and so did Robin.

"Goodnight Papa, goodnight Mama," Roland said sleepily, and before Regina could even register what he said, he was asleep.

Regina stood in the doorway, shocked at what Roland had said, her heart filling with even more love for the boy.

"Regina, are you alright?" Robin asked her.

Regina turned and looked at him, "He called me Mama," she whispered.

Robin smiled at her, "He did, didn't he?" Regina nodded, smiling, then her face fell.

"Is...is it okay? What about Marian? don't you want him to remember his real mother?" she asked, afraid of the answer. It had made her so happy hearing Roland call her Mama, she didn't want that taken from her but she would understand if Robin didn't want Roland calling her that.

"Regina, Roland never knew Marian. Yes, I want him to know who his mother was, but you are a mother to him now, as long as you want that. He loves you. If he wants to call you Mama, then he can because you are his mother. Maybe not by blood, but in every way that counts," Robin said.

"So, you'd be okay if he said that again?" Regina asked.

"Of course I'd be okay. Is that what you want?" Robin asked.

They were still standing in Roland's doorway, their whole conversation in whispers. Regina looked towards Roland, asleep in his bed.

"Yeah," she said quietly. "Yeah, I do want that. If Roland wants to call me Mama, I'd love that."

"Talk to him then. See what he wants." Robin said.

"What if he doesn't want to?" Regina asked. "What if he just slipped because he was tired?" She didn't want to make a big deal out of the whole situation, when it was likely nothing, but the way she felt when Roland called her Mama was something she wanted to feel all the time.

"Whatever he chooses to call you, Regina, he loves you as a mother. And your a damn good one," Robin told her.

"Thank you," Regina said.

Robin smiled, "Now maybe we can get some sleep?" he asked her.

"Yeah," she said, and the pair walked back to their bedroom together and they fell asleep just as quickly as Roland did.

The next morning, Robin woke up uncharacteristically early and Regina was still asleep when Roland came into their bedroom. "Papa?" he whispered.

"Good morning Roland," Robin said.

"Papa, is Regina my Mama now?" Roland asked. "I know I had another Mama, but is Regina my new Mama?"

Robin smiled, remembering the conversation he had with Regina the previous night, "Regina can be if you want her to be," Robin said.

"Really?" Roland asked.

Robin nodded, "Do you want her to be?" he asked.

Roland nodded, "Does this mean I can call her Mama?" Roland asked.

"I'm sure Regina would love it if you called her Mama," Robin told him.

"Can I call her Mama now?" Roland asked.

Robin nodded, "Why don't you wake her up and we can eat breakfast," Robin said.

"Okay," Roland answered. "Mama, Mama, wake up!" Roland said, no longer whispering, shaking Regina's shoulder.

Regina woke up to Roland shaking her shoulder, "Mama, Mama!" Regina smiled when she heard him.

"Good morning sweetheart," Regina said.

"G'morning Mama!" Roland said, "Can you make me pancakes for breakfast?"

Regina laughed, "Is that why daddy had you wake me up?"

Roland nodded, "Yeah," he said, then he lowered his voice to a whisper, "And so that I could call you Mama."

Regina smiled and pulled Roland into a hug before saying, "Well how about those pancakes then? You go get dressed and me and daddy will be right out." Roland hopped out of their bed to go get dressed leaving Regina and Robin alone.

"Did you say something to him?" she asked.

"About calling you Mama? No, he came in here and asked about it," Robin smiled at her.

Regina's heart swelled but all she said was, "Then I guess we should go make breakfast for our son before I have to go pick Henry up." Regina got up and checked on Roland to make sure he was actually getting dressed and hadn't gotten distracted, before going to make breakfast for her family.

Everything was finally falling into place for her. She had Henry, she had Robin, she had Roland, and no he was calling her Mama. She never thought she would find this. Regina was always told she would never find happiness, she would never have love in her life, yet here she was. She had love, she had family, and she had her happy ending.


	13. Make A Wish

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Regina and wishes. Based off of a tumblr post. Then from the spoilers. Don't hate me.

The night sky was bright with stars, more so than usual, Regina thought. It was beautiful. It was bright. Regina watched from her bedroom window as the stars twinkled, and just a sliver of the moon could be seen that night. She saw a bright streak across the sky; a falling star, she realized. There was a legend behind stars; one everyone knew. It was said that if you wished upon them, the star would grant your wish. Her mother had been exceptionally strict that day, attempting to shape Regina into someone who could one day be Queen. She closed her eyes. "Please," she whispered, "please save me from Mother. Please save me from being Queen. I just want to be free," she whispered to the sky full of stars.

The King had proposed to her, and her mother accepted for her. All she wanted was to escape, to be free with Daniel, to have a chance at happiness. She didn't want this; she didn't want to live under her mother anymore. She didn't want to have to worry about being on her best behavior so that mother wouldn't use her magic. She wanted to escape. It hadn't worked when she was a child and she didn't know why she believed it would work now, but she looked up to the sky, hoping someone was there listening. "Please, let me be free of this proposal, please let me be happy with Daniel." Then next day she found herself alone, and Daniel was dead.

She stared out of the window of the deserted castle. She was alone, stuck here with the King and his daughter. She had been for years, no longer under her mother's power but still locked up in this castle. She had been practicing magic, it was an escape. It would help her be free; she wouldn't turn out like her mother. She wouldn't. But she could feel the darkness creeping in with every spell she cast, every lesson. She looked up to the stars, as a tear slipped down her face. She didn't know why she still wished on the stars. It had never helped her before. There had never been anyone to step in and help her. Yet, she still closed her eyes and wished. Silently now, but she wished all the same. "Please don't let me turn out like her," she wished. "Please don't let this ruin me."

Regina looked at her birthday cake, at everyone here for her birthday. It was all a sham, she knew. No one wanted to be here and frankly she didn't want them to be. All she wanted was Snow White's heart on a plate! That would be the best birthday gift she could get. Her revenge, then she would be happy! "Make a wish!" the damn jester told her. Make a wish. The words hit her harder than she would admit. Yes, birthday candles did have their own lure about wishes, but she scoffed at the very idea. Wishes. When had her wishes ever been granted? When had she ever gotten what she hoped for, deserved. If she did, she wouldn't even be Queen, and Daniel would still be alive. Wishes. How foolish she was to ever believe in them. She blew the candle out, only thinking of her revenge, but somewhere inside her, the girl who believed that maybe one day her wishes would be answered, whispered quietly "Save me."

The days were long, tedious. One after another. The joy of her curse and of her revenge had long worn off and all she was left with was an emptiness. "There will be a hole in your heart," Rumple had told her. She didn't want to believe it, and vaguely wished she still had the power to pull her heart out of her chest. A hole in her heart. And one day, her birthday, she bought herself a little cupcake and put a candle on it. Nowhere near as extravagant as the ones she had in the enchanted forest, but it would do. She lit the candle and stared at it for a long time. When had wishes ever gotten her anywhere? When had her wishes ever been granted? So she threw blew the candle out, and threw out the cupcake. She would grant her own wishes this time, she decided. A week and a half, and a little bit of help from gold later, Regina was putting her new baby boy to bed. "I love you, Henry," whispered. Screw wishes.

Fifteen years later, with the help of her family, and hope and most certainly not the granting of wishes, everything was starting to fall together when it all fell apart again. They were able to save Killian, they were able to save to souls in the Underworld, defeat Hades, and now this. "No!" she screamed, as Robin's soul was ripped from his chest with the last of Hades' strength as their portal from the Underworld closed behind them. "No, no Robin! Please, come back to me! You can't leave me," her voice broke as she kissed his lips, one desperate attempt, and one wish racing through her mind. "Please come back to me," she whispered, as she felt his last breath leave his chest. "Please," she whispered, her head falling onto Robin's chest, sobs wracking her body. She felt Henry and Snow saying her name, but she didn't respond. She felt a hand on her arm and she finally looked up to see Emma, tears running down her face. "We saved Killian, we'll find a way to save Robin," she said, wrapping Regina in a hug. "You helped save my happy ending, we will fix this." Regina pulled away from the hug and then proceeded to pull Henry into one. Of all the wishes she had wished, of all the disappointments, this was the worst. And she didn't quite believe Emma when she said they would fix this.


	14. Snow Babysits

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N So I had a head canon that this happened at some point during the curse and I decided to write it. Please Read and Review! Also go follow me on tumblr oncer358. I have an AU in the works, I'll update you on that next time. (It'll be a separate fic, not a one-shot). Anyway, please review!

Regina's face was one of pure exhaustion Monday morning when she walked into Granny's diner. She was carrying Henry in his baby carrier in one arm, and a diaper bag and her briefcase in the other. Regina seemed to be getting more and more tired as the weeks wore on. Anyone who frequented Granny's diner in the mornings had noticed-especially Mary Margaret and Granny Lucas herself.

"Just a coffee and a bagel," Regina said snippily to Granny. Granny nodded, watching Granny nodded, watching Regina, as as Mary Margaret. Henry had started crying again and Regina shifted her bags onto the bar stool so she could entertain Henry with his toys in his carrier.

When Granny came back out, she took one look at the overly exhausted woman and sighed. However unpleasant Madame Mayor Mills was, the woman desperately needed a break.

"Mayor Mills," Granny said, handing the breakfast over to Regina. As Regina set it down and reached for her wallet, Granny shook her head.

"No, this one's on the house. Why don't you have someone watch him for a night so you can actually get some sleep. It'll do you a lot of good," Granny said flatly. Regina glared at the older woman.

"Thank you but I am fine," she said coldly, her eyes narrowing but anyone could hear the tiredness in her voice today. Her usual hard exterior wasn't able to cover it, and everyone in the tiny diner heard it. Granny glared at her and returned to the kitchen as Regina gathered together her bags in one arm and grabbed Henry's baby carrier in the other. Her facade fell even further as she bit her lip, trying to manage a way to pick up her much needed coffee while still carrying Henry and her other bags.

Mary Margaret, who had been cautiously watching from her seat, finally got up and made her way over to Regina. "Need some help Madame Mayor?" she asked timidly, and Regina turned sharply towards her. She looked unwilling, but quickly realized help would be the quickest way of getting to her car without spilling coffee all over herself or her infant son.

"Please," she responded, as Mary Margaret, relieved that was the only answer she got, picked up Regina's coffee and took the diaper bag for her.

The pair walked to Regina's car in silence, aside from Henry who was still crying. Regina threw her briefcase in the car and hooked Henry's baby carrier into the base before taking the diaper bag and coffee from Mary Margaret.

"Thank you," Regina said grudgingly.

"Of course, Madame Mayor, it was no problem,"Mary Margaret said. "If...if you ever need someone to watch him for a little while I'd be happy to-"

"I'm fine, thank you ," Regina said defensively.

Mary Margaret nodded quickly walking back into Granny's diner.

Regina got in her car and drove over to her office, a massive headache already starting.

It took her two trips to get everything out of the car.

That day, Henry barely cried and Regina thought that just maybe she could get some sleep tonight. However, Henry woke up several times throughout the night, just as always. The next morning her alarm went off just minutes after she finally found herself back in bed again. SHe hit the snooze button, just as she had been doing for months now, and fell back asleep. By the time she finally got up, she was already running and hour late and she was so tired she didn't think 8 cups of coffee could keep her awake today.

It was June, school was out for the kids in Storybrooke, which meant Mary Margaret would most likely be home today. Regina thought about the woman's offer the previous day. "If you need someone to watch him for a little while I'd be happy to."

Regina loathed the idea. Hand her infant son over to her sworn enemy? Regina sighed. She didn't like the idea, but she knew she wasn't going to make it through the day. She also knew Mary Margaret-Snow White- had raised her for ten years. She knew Henry would be safe with her, as much as she hated to admit it.

So on that Tuesday morning, Regina sighed, packed Henry's diaper bag and got her precious baby boy ready to go before grabbing the telephone.

"Hello?" Mary Margaret answered.

"Hello, this is Regina Mills."

"Madame Mayor, what can I do for you?" Mary Margaret asked, sounding alarmed.

"Well it turns out I'm quite busy today and would like to take you up on your offer from yesterday to watch Henry," Regina said briskly, speaking as Mayor Mills not Regina Mills the mother.

"Oh!" Mary Margaret said, surprised, "yes of course I'll watch him."

"Great, I'll bring him by now," Regina said and hung up the phone.

Regina turned towards Henry who was gurgling in his baby carrier and chewing on one of his toys.

"This is only for today, my Little Prince. I'm going to bring you home as soon as I get some sleep. She made faces at him until he started giggling, and Regina, pleased, carried him outside, put him in the car and drove him to Mary Margaret's house.

As soon as Regina knocked on the door, Mary Margaret was there to answer it. She had been wondering what kind of town business would pull Regina from Henry, but after taking one look at Regina she knew town business wasn't the kind of "busy" Regina was today. Her eyes were bloodshot and she barely had any makeup on. No, she wasn't Madame Mayor Mills right now, Mary Margaret only saw Regina the mother, and it made her quite less intimidating.

Regina gave Mary Margaret instructions, multiple times, that to her credit Mary Margaret listened intently to. "I'll be back around 5:30," Regina told her.

"We will see you then, Henry will be just fine," Mary Margaret said. Regina just glared at Mary Margaret before hesitating and kissing Henry on the forehead. "I will be back later my Little Prince." Mary Margaret smiled as Regina handed Henry over.

Regina drove home guiltily, feeling that she should be able to take care of her own son all by herself. She didn't have much time to think about it, however, before her head hit the pillow and she was out cold.

-10.5 Hours later-

It was 6:30. Regina was an hour late to pick up Henry. Her alarm had went off and stupidly, she had snoozed it and now she was late. She got in her car and probably broke a few traffic laws in her rush to get Henry.

"I'm sorry I was late I-" Regina started, but Mary Margaret cut her off.

"That's fine, you needed the sleep," Mary Margaret said without thinking.

"I was at work," Regina said, trying to keep up the facade.

"Right, I'm sorry," Mary Margaret said, handing Henry and the diaper bag over to Regina. Regina curtly thanked her and left.

Regina couldn't help being relieved that she had gotten some sleep, however, and Mary Margaret was just as glad that she could help, even if the young mother wouldn't admit that's what she had been doing.

That night Henry only woke a few times, and within a month or so, he was sleeping through the night.


	15. He Should Be Here

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N- F*ck you A&E writers. But… here's a one-shot with their shitty plot line, set at the peanut's first birthday *cue me not wanting to admit they named peanut Robyn* Please read and Review

The first few months had been awful. Regina was constantly in pain, and she and Zelena were constantly arguing on how to raise baby Robyn. They had agreed on a co-parenting of sorts, but it quite obviously wasn't a simple situation.

Today was Robyn's first birthday. She had started walking at nine months, and now she was talking in fragmented sentences.

"Mama, Aunt 'Gina!" That had been one of the first things they had argued about- each of their place in Robyn's life. Regina ended up settling with Aunt Regina.

Regina picked the beautiful baby girl up. She had Zelena's hair, but her eyes were all Robin. They were Robin's color blue and she had his dimples, just like Roland did.

"Hi baby, happy birthday," she said to Robyn, who giggled and squirmed out of her arms. Regina's eyes unconsciously filled up with tears, and Regina looked sympathetically at her sister.

"She has his eyes... and his dimples," Regina whispered, not for the first time.

"Yeah," Zelena answered. There was nothing more she could really say. She picked up Robyn, who was now pulling at her leg since Regina had put her down.

The Charmings, Emma, Killian, and Henry would be over any minute now for Robyn's party.

"Mama, I need help!" Roland called from up the stairs. Regina smiled and made her way to Roland, who was walking down the steps, trying to put on his green zip-up tie he had gotten quite obsessed with lately.

"Here you go, baby," Regina zipped the tie up, smiling down at Roland. Baby Robyn may have Robin's eyes and dimples, but Roland had the hair. The past year had probably been the toughest on him out of everyone. He had originally went back to the Enchanted Forest with the Merry Men, but once everything was sorted out, Roland ended up with her again.

"Mama, Henry's coming home today, right?" Roland asked.

"Yes, baby, he is," Regina answered. She picked him up; he was almost getting too big at 6 years old, but he still nuzzled into her shoulder.

"Ro-Ro!" Robin squealed when she and Roland entered the room. Roland squirmed down from Regina's grip to play with his little sister.

The doorbell rang and in pored the Charming-Swan-Jones family.

"Mom!" Henry hugged Regina, then Roland and Robyn before running up the stairs to put his bags in his room.

Greetings were said between everyone else, and then they all admired how big Robyn and little Neal had gotten.

finally they all had cake, and Zelena put Robyn's piece in front of her, letting her get as messy as she wanted. Regina took pictures, smiling, though her eyes were glossy.

She felt a hand on her shoulder.

"You good?" Snow asked her.

"He should be here. He should be taking pictures and shoving cake in her face and holding Roland," Regina said.

"I know. He should," she answered. And it was true; none of what happened was fair to Regina or to the kids and especially not to Robin. Robin should be able to see his children grow up.

He should have seen her first steps and her first word should have been Papa and she would have been a total Daddy's girl. Regina wiped the tears that had gathered in her eyes away before anyone could see cut the cake, getting pieces for Roland first, then Henry, then allowing everyone else to help themselves.

That night, Emma and Snow had decided to stay late, sending Charming and Killian home, baby Neal with Charming.

"Let me put Roland to bed while you two break out the alcohol; Henry's in his room texting Violet," Regina raised her eyebrows, a bittersweet smile crossing both her and Emma's faces. Regina walked up to her 16 year old's room first.

"Lights out at 10:30 Henry, got it?"

"I know," Henry answered absentmindedly. Regina walked over, took the phone from him and tilted his fave to look at her. "Hey, I love you," she said.

Henry smiled, "I love you too mom." Regina couldn't stop herself and pulled him into a hug. "Can I have my phone back though?" Henry asked. Regina laughed and handed the phone back, leaving the room with a smile.

"Roland, sweetheart, are your teeth brushed?" Regina asked.

"Yes Mama," Roland calls softly from his bedroom. Regina walked into his room to find him clutching to his monkey stuffed animal and a picture of him and Robin.

"Roland, are you okay?" Regina sat down next to him. She looked at her baby boy, who had tears glistening in his eyes. It hurt her to see him like this. No six year old should cry over his dead father.

"I miss Papa," he whispered. Regina picked Roland up and sat him on her lap, him still clutching to the toy and picture.

"So do I," she admitted, "I miss his so much, but he would be so proud of you Roland. Your papa loved you more than anything in the world," Regina told him. Roland didn't answer, but buried his face in her shoulder.

"How about we go say goodnight to your sister and then you can go downstairs with me, Emma, and Snow?" Regina asked him. Roland nodded.

Regina took him to Robyn's room which she shared with Zelena. It was something that would need to be remedied eventually, but was fine for now.

"Night sissy," Roland mumbled, patting her on the head from where he was in Regina's arms, before putting his face back on her shoulder.

"Is he alright?" Zelena mouthed.

Regina considered telling her sister the truth, but decided against it seeing as it wouldn't do much good and she and Zelena already had too many arguments about who was to feel guilty for the whole thing. "He's just tired," she said. Zelena's eyes cast downward, knowing exactly why Roland was upset despite what Regina said.

"Emma and Snow are staying for drinks, you gonna join us?" Regina asked her.

Zelena shook her head no, "I'm just going to put her to bed."

Regina nodded and carried Roland downstairs. "Let's keep the drinking to a minimum while he's down here," Regina whispered when she came back into the living room.

Both Snow and Emma just nodded, neither having to ask what was wrong with Roland. The first few months that Regina had Roland back, he was in moods like this more often than not, but since then he had been better. No one could expect anything less, though, missing his Papa because he wasn't there for his little sister's birthday.

The three women talked as they were originally going to, carefully avoiding a mention of Robin or too much alcohol consumption until it was clear that Roland had fell asleep in Regina's arms.

"So how's he doing?" Emma asked sympathetically, nodding her head at Roland.

Regina just sighed, "No better than can be expected. He lost both parents by the time he was five...He just misses his Papa."

"And how about you, Regina? I know this hasn't been easy on you-" Snow started.

"He should be here. He should be holding Roland and watching his daughter grow up. He-he should have seen her first steps, and heard her first words. She should have been named Hope, because we would have had our happy ending because we held on to the hope that we would, and he should be here," Regina said, her voice cracking.

Emma looked away from her, the illogical guilt of Killian coming back while Robin died still haunting her.

Snow sighed, "I know."

Regina ran a hand through Roland's hair, and pressed kisses to his forehead. He was so much like his father, and he tried so hard to be strong, to be a Merry Man like his father. Her next words were a whisper.

"I miss him."


End file.
